


one step closer to love

by 126916912



Series: Deleted VeggieSamosa Works [5]
Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Falling In Love, Gen, Platonic Relationship, Wedding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-25
Updated: 2019-05-25
Packaged: 2021-03-27 11:14:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30121923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/126916912/pseuds/126916912
Summary: a cancer, a scorpio, and a pisces walk into a bts concert. the pisces tells the scorpio that they're the best friend he'll ever have and the scorpio has too many feelings about it afterwards.(alternatively a friendship told in 12 parts; Sangyeon wants the very best for Hyunjun even if the best turns out to be different to what Sangyeon wants it to be)
Relationships: Heo Hyunjoon | Hwall & Lee Sangyeon
Series: Deleted VeggieSamosa Works [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2216148





	one step closer to love

"I will die if I don't get BTS tickets," Hyunjun had said. Obviously it is an exaggeration but all the same the words leave a residue in his mind which tacks itself to all of Sangyeon’s dreams and wakes him in the night. 

It is silly, he thinks, to check things like his bank balance and all the venue information he can scour from the internet in the middle of the night, but Hyunjun is the sort of friend who must have his way. Hyunjun has never claimed this but it is a conclusion Sangyeon came to quite readily. From the first time they met Sangyeon could see Hyunjun willing away the timidness which was borne from his innate personality and trying his hardest to adhere to boldness. Even now Hyunjun smiles and pinks and ducks his head too readily but it doesn't stop him from pushing through his embarrassment. He tries hard in a way that doesn't make Sangyeon cringe and maybe that is what is easiest to admire overall. 

So Sangyeon completes the search as well as he can in the middle of the night and he returns Hyunjun’s call, albeit at a far less social hour. Hyunjun sounds bleary as he picks up and there isn’t much he can do to clear to gravel from his throat but he doesn’t need to when Sangyeon is prepared to do all the talking for both of them. 

“I’ll get you the tickets no matter what it takes.”

Hyunjun unfortunately doesn’t have a clue what Sangyeon is talking about and he goes back to sleep after making his incomprehension known. It is difficult to tell whether this is helpful or not for Sangyeon when he does get tickets but they’re way up in the nosebleeds with Chaekyung (who claimed to have other plans even though she later said she couldn’t waste the third ticket) and Hyunjun doesn’t complain once about how someone they know has a much better view. Sangyeon knows all about Younghoon’s seats way in the front but Hyunjun looks content. He squeezes Sangyeon tightly and thanks him for the fiftieth time and he’s nothing but elation for the duration of the concert. He grips Sangyeon’s hand and tells him he’s the best friend he’s ever had even though Chaekyung is the one who brought the tour T-shirt he’s clutching to his chest.

Everything Sangyeon is told is impressively close to what he wants to hear but he’s more amazed by how someone like Hyunjun, finesse falling from every flickering motion, would need to hold onto Sangyeon to keep his feet firmly on the ground.

*

Hyunjun is tall. He's slender with long limbs and he's made up of micro-extensions in every motion that float him from one breath to the next great exhale of the universe. He's beautiful, to put it simply, but not even beauty like Hyunjun's can make up for his lack of age and experience. 

He's just like a kid and his heart breaks too easily and Sangyeon wonders whether he should be glad of the ease with which he can reach out with one arm and draw Hyunjun close. Sangyeon knows he shouldn't be glad about how hard Hyunjun, hunched over yet still bleeding with grace, sobs into his neck but he is still grateful that comfort is this simple. 

Hyunjun is young and he relays the rejection which cited his age as the reason and Sangyeon is relieved that it feels like doing enough without telling Hyunjun that he is young but it's still okay. 

*

It isn't too long after yet another of Hyunjun's heartbreaks (rejections that Sangyeon doesn't think he'll ever understand; he had known Hyunjun for a handful of years but right from the start he was an easy friend to make because of how proudly he wore his heart on his sleeve, and even as Hyunjun has grown to learn ways to shield his visible vulnerabilities he hasn't grown any harder to love) that Sangyeon actively starts to take an interest in people Hyunjun's age. 

He spies one of Jacob's friends who looks happy for the serendipity of seeing Jacob and Sangyeon asks about him when he is gone. He laughed easily and even greeted Sangyeon with warmth bordering on impoliteness that strangers oft never receive. He seems kind of perfect but Jacob asks if he should be worried. 

Sangyeon hurriedly explains Hyunjun as easily as he can (which is with a recent photograph and the assurance that he's one of the best people Sangyeon knows) and Jacob finally confirms that his friend is single. He still appears apprehensive but he agrees to try to set their friends up. 

*

Hyunjun rolls his eyes. "I don't need you to find boys for me," he says but he still agrees to Sangyeon’s plan. He even says he'll dress nicely and Sangyeon wonders what that actually means to someone who meticulously plans every aspect of every outfit. 

As expected Hyunjun is well turned out and Sangyeon worries for a moment that he looks too good, that he might frighten away Jacob’s friend with one of the flashiest displays of style Sangyeon has seen in a while. All the same, Sangyeon does his best to take all the pre-date pictures that are uploaded to Hyunjun’s instagram in both post and story forms. It is always prudent to document moments like this and Sangyeon has a lot of practice doing this for his more demanding friends. Privately, Sangyeon associates the photos he took with the day he found someone for Hyunjun. 

*

It was Sangyeon’s idea but seeing Hyunjun so easily moved to fervent felicity makes him wary. It isn't the first time someone has coaxed a celebratory shyness from Hyunjun and it doesn't feel like it is the last. But first dates turn into monthiversaries turn into introductions to extended circles of friends turn into fights that are more often solved by confrontation than being cowed into assent turns into Sunwoo looking at Hyunjun in a way that makes Sangyeon’s chest ache with relief. 

Hyunjun finally found someone who hasn’t had him shedding tears onto Sangyeon’s shoulders yet again. Sunwoo holds Hyunjun’s hand aloft for all to see and he finds any excuse to introduce him proudly to every person they meet. Sangyeon wishes he could truthfully be sick of how misty Hyunjun gets every time he looks at his phone to find a message from Sunwoo hinting at an imminent surprise. But he’s happy to see it all even if he’s waiting for the moment he needs to return to his usual role.

Sangyeon hates that he can’t quite shake the cynicism but he’s more hopeful about getting over it completely every time he sees a fresh shoot of happiness in one of Hyunjun’s smiles.

*

"I've missed this," Sangyeon admits quietly to Hyunjun. They still make time for each other (Sangyeon has nothing but time for friends) but stretched out on the settee with Hyunjun in his arms pretending to be much smaller than he is while watching awful movies brings forth a nostalgia Sangyeon hasn't allowed himself in some months. 

Hyunjun doesn't say anything for a while, just selects a kernel of popcorn from the bowl in his charge and reaches to push it into Sangyeon’s mouth. He picked the film so it isn't really fair of Sangyeon to talk all through it. 

Several scenes and individual pieces of popcorn (a gallant conservation project which has Sangyeon already ignoring Hyunjun's pointed glares and searching on his phone for the fast-food restaurant which would deliver the quickest) later Hyunjun sits up. The sudden airflow chills Sangyeon too quickly and he wonders what else about Hyunjun would so easily be sapped away from him without challenge. 

"You helped me to find someone and I want to do the same for you."

"Wait!" Sangyeon digs for the remote between settee cushions and pauses the movie. It is unfortunately far from the end and Sangyeon wonders how a film lacking in substance to this extent was even bought by any streaming platform. But he won't tell Hyunjun how much he hates it until the end. Right. Hyunjun was saying something but asking him to repeat it brings no further clarity and Hyunjun just looks irritated. 

"I want you to have someone in the same way that I do. It's nice. And I'd feel less bad about how awkward scheduling things is for us."

"I'm fine," Sangyeon says. He knows how nice romance can be but he also knows how not nice every facet of it seems when the right light is shed and every indiscretion is exposed. He's getting on just fine without that sort of love. "Like this is fine. I am living a good life."

Hyunjun frowns. "Sunwoo has a friend-" 

It already sounds too messy and Sangyeon doesn't want a complication like that getting in the way of any of the existing fond fronds which tether people together. "I mean it. I will pass on meeting Sunwoo's friend."

Dejection billows from Hyunjun on the back of his sigh. He doesn't look at Sangyeon when he more firmly says, "You'll really like him when you meet him. He's perfect for you."

"Do you like him?" 

"What? This isn't about me. Please just meet him once it doesn't even have to be a date."

"If you've already told Sunwoo or his friend that you're trying to set us up you should apologise," Sangyeon says. His joints ache and now is as good a time as ever to take a toilet break and breathe away from Hyunjun for a few moments. He knows it isn't fair and he's a hypocrite but he doesn't need to meet Sunwoo's friend. 

*

Sangyeon doesn't avoid Hyunjun (not that he'd really need to try seeing as Sunwoo is so spontaneous and romantic that they're always doing something at short notice. It is sweet and Sangyeon hopes it doesn't fizzle into nothingness too soon) but he has apparently made enough of a point about not seeing him that Chaekyung tells him to stop being pathetic. 

She takes him dancing, because she wants to learn salsa and she doesn't have anyone else to go with. It manages to be worse than when she was in her Zumba phase and forced him to accompany her there too but Sangyeon knows how to discard his pride and have some fun. 

He's tired and still sweaty but just sitting opposite Chaekyung in the chicken restaurant and reading over the menu is enough to replenish his energy. He could forget all about his other friends until Chaekyung tips his menu out of the way. 

"I heard that you're going to die alone as a miserable old man."

It is an odd time to bring it up and Sangyeon finds that he disagrees. He smiles slowly knowing that Chaekyung is the type of person who can't go without returning a smile. And maybe it is a tad sadistic to watch her drop the smile when he asks, “How much have you been chatting up Hyunjun to come up with a comment like this?” 

“You know I wouldn't talk to an infant like him about this,” Chaekyung finally says. She lifts up her menu as though it is enough of a distraction that Sangyeon can’t obliterate it by pulling her menu out of the way. 

“No, but you can’t really be thinking of calling me a miserable old man when you’re the same age as me. You’re older than me. You’re just as lonely and miserable as people think I am.”

“Charming,” Chaekyung grumbles. She sighs and swipes away a sweaty curl of hair from her temple. She leans forward in her seat and narrows her eyes at Sangyeon. “So you admit that you are lonely? Because Hyunjun is in love and he doesn’t have time for you anymore.”

Sangyeon hadn’t expected Chaekyung (flighty and unreliable as she is) to turn things around on him like this. He can’t immediately refute her words because they hit far too close to home. But a few seconds are enough to come up with an answer. “He has plenty of time for me. It’s not healthy to be in each other’s pockets all the time.”

“But that’s what you liked,” Chaekyung grins as she gets up from her seat. She orders the same thing every time (butterfly chicken, hot, peri fries and macho peas, because even if she can’t stick to one thing for too long she is never adventurous enough to order anything new) and she doesn't even need the time to really look at the menu. Sangyeon is honestly the same way but an extension of his habit is reading the menu and thinking about things he’ll never try. He follows her up to the till to order and by the time they’re sitting down with their refillable sodas he doesn’t think he could keep up lies if asked about it. 

Being so thoroughly intertwined with Hyunjun’s life is exactly what he liked. It is exactly what he misses. No amount of periperi sauce and dance classes will change things.

“What would you do if I fell in love with someone too,” Chaekyung asks, “You’d be running out of people to distract you from the fact that you’re getting left out. I’m not saying it is something you should be preparing for immediately but I don’t want you to think you have too much time.”

Sangyeon doesn’t want to hear things like this, not when he’s closer to losing another friend who wants to fit someone else in a space he has been a placeholder for all along.

*

“You came all this way to see me?” Hyunjun asks when Sangyeon and Chaekyung meet him at the bus station. On the bus he clings to Sangyeon like they’d never been apart. Chaekyung does not get the same treatment though Sangyeon can see the smiles Hyunjun is sending to her too. He can feel the smiles rather than see them and he wonders whether that is why they burn more strongly in his mind’s eye. 

“I would go to you anywhere to take you on a day out,” Sangyeon says. Hyunjun squeezes him tighter and Sangyeon wonders whether being a good friend is really worth losing his life. But he decides it might be the case when Hyunjun tells him he’ll always be happy to see him. 

Hyunjun does bring himself to release Sangyeon for long enough that they can board rollercoasters safely and he latches onto Chaekyung to plead with her to buy all the souvenir photos after every ride they go on. The thing is Chaekyung is as much of a sap as Sangyeon is and she dips her hand into her purse too many times just to keep him happy. Chaekyung buys every photo and Sangyeon buys every headband and keyring that Hyunjun so much as points at and they split the cost of lunch (just not with Hyunjun who is apparently exempt from spending a penny). 

On the way home Sangyeon wonders why he has to stay awake and watch for their stop while Chaekyung and Hyunjun nap on his shoulders. But he doesn’t think he’d be able to sleep if he tried. He wouldn’t want to be the one to close his eyes on this moment and forget what it is like to get annoyed over something as simple as this. 

*

Sunwoo calls to organise something nice for Hyunjun's birthday.

"I want to take him away on holiday. Just for a long weekend. But I think he has his heart set on whatever you usually do together and I need you to tell him you'll be busy with work or something."

It's sort of sweet and Sangyeon thinks Hyunjun would like a surprise like that, yet more of that spontaneity which is mending all the cracks caused by callous rejections. So he agrees. He says if Hyunjun asks he will claim to be busy. 

It all works rather well, Sangyeon thinks, until Hyunjun calls with ice in his voice which stings even through the phone. 

"He said you forgot my birthday. That he called to organise something with you and you told him you forgot it. You lied. You'd never forget."

Sangyeon sighs. It is clumsy and he thinks he should have expected to hear something like this after Sunwoo's phone call. He doesn't mind needing to clear this up. 

"I forgot," Sangyeon says. "I forgot your birthday and I agreed to go into work all weekend to fix all the mistakes I made over the last quarter."

"You're a liar." Hyunjun is emphatic about it and Sangyeon wonders why he'd ever feel a smile tugging at his lips when Hyunjun sounds so distressed over it. 

"Who cares whether I am lying or not? Are you going to spend the whole time sulking when your boyfriend is taking you on a romantic weekend away? Have some fun and brag all about it to me when you get back."

Hyunjun still doesn't sound happy about it at all but he begrudgingly agrees before they hang up. 

*

"I love you," Hyunjun says. They don't often get to go out somewhere and just hang out, the two of them, so Sangyeon appreciates every second of sitting in their usual restaurant. Even the seconds he doesn't understand between this sentence and the next where Sangyeon finds himself baffled are ones he works hard to cherish. "I want to marry Sunwoo. Will you be my best man?" 

It almost seems too soon, shorter than a year yet far longer than any of Hyunjun's other relationships, but if Hyunjun had been a bit more sensible and waited longer to be sure then Sangyeon wouldn't be filled by a surge of euphoria in the middle of a restaurant where he has never felt so happy before. 

"Of course I will," Sangyeon tells him. One fluid motion projects Hyunjun right out of his seat and he's on his knees beside Sangyeon’s chair. The seeping heat from Hyunjun blubbing into Sangyeon’s chest makes him wonder if he somehow managed to refuse. He assures Hyunjun again and again that he'll do it, nothing would make him happier than to be his best man, but Hyunjun only grips him tighter and sheds more ardent tears into Sangyeon’s shirt. 

*

“It’s weird,” Chaekyung says as she slams back another champagne at the bar. “Isn’t he too young to be getting married?”

Sangyeon wants to agree but he also believes in true love so he doesn’t say anything. He gestures to the barmaid to stop serving Chaekyung but she spots him and twists his index and middle fingers apart for his troubles. She scowls up at him. “You might be Hyunjun’s best man but you’re still an old maid like me now. You need to get as drunk as I do if you’re going to survive this thing.”

Chaekyung raises a very good point. Sangyeon gets himself a drink too. And then another one. And then Sangyeon loses count between the drinks he and Chaekyung are knocking back and he doesn’t have any clue how Hyunjun could have heard about it to summon them into the room where he is getting ready. 

There’s fury in Hyunjun’s eyes but Sangyeon can see straight past that. Hyunjun’s suit, even on a second or third glimpse is less avant garde than expected, really becomes him and Sangyeon could cry. He doesn’t realise he is crying until Hyunjun’s admonishments die in his mouth and Chaekyung pats his shoulder a shade too hard to be sympathetic. 

“Why are you doing this?” Hyunjun asks as he shuffles into Sangyeon’s chest. “I need you to not be drunk today of all days. I’m getting married. It’s special. But I still need some support from you, alright?”

“It’s my fault,” Chaekyung weeps. She draws both Hyunjun and Sangyeon into her arms as she moves on to loud wailing. Already her mascara is running and Sangyeon hopes she’ll be able to fix her makeup before the ceremony. But he has so many tears in his eyes that Chaekyung’s makeup kind of looks like it could be that way intentionally. 

“I’m sorry for getting drunk, Hyunjun. You know I love you so I didn’t mean to ruin today.”

Hyunjun chuckles and sniffs back his own tears as he sags into Chaekyung’s tight grip. “You haven’t ruined anything, either of you. Couldn’t you at least wait until I was married and I could join in?”

“No,” Chaekyung wails. “We’re single and old and sad. You’re too pretty and young and married to be in our club.”

Sangyeon doesn’t see how that is what breaks Hyunjun but he’s glad they’re all there together, even if they’re crying for no real reason and their Hyunjun is getting married.

*

Hyunjun cries too much on the day after the wedding. He had tried his hardest to catch up to Chaekyung and Sangyeon at the reception with the aid of the open bar but he's nowhere near hungover. He's lucky and Sangyeon resents him for how chipper he had been as he met them for a pre-honeymoon second brunch. 

Sangyeon can barely stomach the champagne served with the array of melon balls but it is a fancy brunch and he tries his hardest to swig it all back in spite of the sour burn of it repeating on him last night. Chaekyung is struggling as much as he is and she must spill over her full flute on purpose in her haste to ply Hyunjun with napkins. 

"I'm happy," Hyunjun sobs, "I love Sunwoo so much. But I never thought of how I was supposed to grow out of wanting you around all the time. What if he wants to divorce me because there's always someone else?" 

It hasn't even been a full day and Hyunjun is crying like this. Sangyeon feels ill and he swallows back a torrent of bile as he tries not to think too hard about not being ready to let Hyunjun go himself. He washes the thought down with the bitter champagne which pools acidicly on his tongue with words better dissolved into air. He keeps it all behind tight lips and wills Chaekyung to be better than him. 

Of course she is. 

"Do you expect Sunwoo to throw all his friends away too? No, because it would be weird," she says knowingly. She mops Hyunjun's face with handfuls of napkins and she strokes his head gently whilst he squeezes her knee and stares at her with a gloss of red in his eyes. She smiles. "There will be some things a husband can't fix and you'll realise how good it is to hold precious things like friendship so close. You can love as many people as you like. You'll never really have to let go of anyone that you don't want to."

Hyunjun shakes his head but he doesn't allow disappointment to settle for long. "I never thought I could love someone the way I love Sunwoo. Or the way he loves me too. I don't know if he realises that though."

"He knows," Chaekyung reassures him. She glances at Sangyeon for a moment and can't spare the same reassurance for him so she peers once more at Hyunjun's bleary countenance. "Everyone can tell. You can call us as often as you need and you'll always have someone to turn to. It must be scary putting this heavy name on everything but it's still the same. Nothing has changed since before."

Hyunjun nods and his smile is weak as he tries to stem the flow of yet more tears. "I'm going to get to be with Sunwoo for my whole life."

"Yeah! Doesn't that sound fun?" 

Hyunjun manages a chuckle and Sangyeon wishes he could be the one to say all these reassuring things. Usually he is except he doesn't have a clue how to pronounce the words like Chaekyung does, doesn't think he can lie and tell Hyunjun (still bleeding grace in the shine of his eyes and the bliss seeping from his lips) that nothing has changed. A lot has changed but at least Sangyeon can be sure it wasn't only the wedding which removed Hyunjun from his reach. 

Sangyeon tips back the rest of the champagne but he isn't confident in his ability to keep it down so he rises from the table. He wants to try being a good friend before he ejects his stomach contents and admits that this hangover has bested him. 

He reaches for Hyunjun’s shoulder, glad of this grip to ground the spinning of his head. He says, "You're the best friend I've ever had, Hyunjun, and nothing is going to change that. I'm glad you get to be happy like this."

Hyunjun looks up at Sangyeon, his hands squeezing Chaekyung's so they're blanched, and he smiles. And Sangyeon thinks he's never seen Hyunjun look happier. 


End file.
